WHY?

WHY? 

I have always been a believer of loving oneself unconditionally first and then allowing people in your space to love you the best way you know how. 

Where do i  begin? There are many times i toyed with the idea of being a smaller and healthier Khadija, problem is, i really didn't like the gym and the gym didn't seem to like me either. There are 3 major events in my life that made me think "Ghaiii say no to the food". 

Events 1-30.

Air hostesses and stewards (EP-enemies of progress) where do i begin with you guys? Okay so as i board the aircraft, i WHISPER to you that i am in need of a seat belt extension but then you come down the aisle, loud as ever as though you're presenting me with an Oscar and alas all the attention is fixed on me and i am under immense pressure to give my viewers a show on how to tie THE seat belt? But why are you guys like this? Where did we go wrong…i say sorry on behalf of all weighty people...eish..You love making us the butt of all jokes. This lot, make it impossible for us to just chill before a flight!!!! It doesn't end there....heh, when i stand up to use the washroom, people must look and acknowledge the need for an extra seat belt. 

Event 31

I lived in Mombasa at some point and i would enjoy the regular burger and a dip in the sea at Yulz as well as indulge in Water Sports. Sooo, there's this time i was jet skiing and unfortunately i lost control and found myself in the water...soo immediately panic mode because i don't like water that i can’t see clearly in because of all the sea weed…So the Yulz people came to rescue me...let's just say, that if someone had boarded a flight in Nairobi, they had landed in Mombasa and checked into their hotel by the time i made it to the shore 😂😂😂😂. You would think they were rescuing a whale, there were 5 men and 3 jet skis, at some point they were soo desperate to just get me back onto the Jet Ski that one of them literally thought he could push himself down and up fast enough to push me up...FADA LAAAAWD what a scene. Yo BRUH, i had given up on life right there and even told them, it’s okay, I reckon if you just leave me here the tide shall bring me back to the shore if i just float on my back...😂😂😂😂. Let's just say the next time they saw me which was the day after they were like ''Aki madam, today we have too many people and not enough staff for rescue'' and i just laughed it off because what had transpired the day before was not for the faint hearted plus i nearly lost my big toe in the attempted rescue mission. Now that i look back i could’ve just saved myself from all that embarrassment and pain by holding onto the jet ski as it went back to shore...but there was too big a crowd on shore to disappoint, i think i may have even heard a slow clap starting as i got off the jet skii 😂😂😂.

Event 32

Ehhhh other Enemies of Progress....Fundi wa Nguo...i got tired of tailoring everything. To even think i had the right to walk into a store and find anything in my size….i would leave all my money there...but now that i look back at it..it was some type of abuse. Anyone who knows me will tell you that if i found anything in my size i would buy the whole rack in different colours...it was like hitting the jackpot. I used to wear jeans mpaka i would hear them crying ''patia sisi break yawa''...BUT now i can buy them in all designs and colours...the little and big joys of life!!!!!!. 

To be fair though, i always knew how to dress my body, people would be like 'awww you know how to dress your body''...damn right i know how to, i gotta live with myself namsein!!!

But also I got tired of being asked how old I was because the body to face ratio never made sense. Plus you know when you’re were weighty, people feel they have the right to make sexual or funny comments as you walk by or someone offers you the biggest chair in a restaurant or you’re always left for the front seat in a car because you need the space or you’re told to balance the car by sitting in a specific side of the car or when you swim people are in shock or they make jokes that if you were to dive in, the water would spill out or the guys that are holaing are your uncles, fathers and politicians or when you get invited to a pool party you’re fully dressed for winter or when you buy heels it has an expiration date because they shall LEEEEAAAAAAANNNNNNN, or when you can’t order your meals without looking like a heart attack waiting to happen with all the extra cheese and large meals…I could exhaust this sentence but I won’t…jijazieni.

So now, I appreciate all the weighty experiences but most importantly the peace I get from not eating through cravings because I’m choosing a diet that is nutritious and I have NO CRAVINGS…those buggers nearly cost me my savings…every time was a craving time…I kid you not, I was able to smell fried chicken and the food that I wanted to eat before I even saw it..CRAZY HUH…plus all my emotions had a food….i was a WRECK!!!! If i was happy it was fried chicken, chips and burger time, if I was sad it was chocolate and sweets time and sometimes I would just LOVE the hell out of PASTA. My one and true love was always food but now it’s made up of many other things that I have time for other than recuperating from a food comma or haitis. The strength to deal with emotions and issues without the overreliance on food I must say is the biggest gift the MGB has given to me.

With Love Iman